Gravity
by dreadfulFOOL
Summary: Songfic for a friend: Gravity by Sara Barielles. Harry's safe place was always with Severus, even before he knew it and even after he is gone.


A/N: This is probably the most random and depressing thing I've ever written

A/N: This is probably the most random and depressing thing I've ever written. So I do apologize. I usually don't write Snarry, but a friend of mine is a huge fan and she asked me to do one to her favorite song. So, anyways, this is it, done to Sara Bareilles' song, _Gravity_.

**Gravity:**

**Aryna.Tahashi**

_Something always brings me back to you, it never takes too long._

_No matter what I say or do, I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone._

Walking down the hallways, raven hair falling unkept into my emerald eyes, I creep stealthily along, my movements hidden beneath this, normally, visibly shimmering cloak. Moon-lit corridors turn slowly into dank, lantern-lit passages; brightly colored curtains, paintings, and tapestries transforming into damp stone and cobwebs. An area far from welcoming, especially in the darkest time of the night, is where I felt the safest; where I felt the pull of gravity taking me.

_You hold me without touch. You keep me without chains._

_I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your rain. _

I know that it is irrational and possibly the most reckless thing I've ever done, but, for once, I'm not exaggerating when I say my emotions are beyond my control. Anger, yes, I can tame with time. _This_, on the other hand, is something far from anger. I know, too, that it will never be returned. As I reach my destination and settle down beside the dark, stained wood, I realize that it doesn't matter. You're there, alive and well, on the beyond that old, stained door, and you'll be there again tomorrow; a never changing constant I've come to rely upon in my life. Even if it isn't quite how I want it, with you in there and me out here, I'll live with it, no matter how much I want it otherwise, because I won't risk losing what little bit of you I have to myself.

_Set me free; Leave me be. _

_I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity. _

I must have dosed off: a fatal mistake on these midnight vigils. Someone is shaking me awake. I know it is you. You smell is already in my nose. It's unique to you and your potions; a mixture of sandalwood and something you, purely you. You'll want to know why I'm here, I expect. Maybe I can play dead, or unconscious, as it were. But I can't take this. The closeness of your body, our body heats mingling to create a furnace. I can't take this falling; this feeling. It overwhelms me to the point where I can't even breathe. I hold on to the little will power I have to resist this, but the urge to open my eyes and see you so close is unbearable. Maybe it's what I've been waiting for.

_Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be,_

_But you're on to me, and all over me. _

Slowly, my eyes open… and my breathing stops. You're so close; too close. It's so much better than I imagined, the feel of you leaning over me, protecting me from the darkness with your own. It's moments like this that I cherish. The moments where it's only you and me and the rest of the world be damned. Moments when I can forget my destiny, and remember only you, imagine only you. However, all good things come to an end. I gather my strength as I wait for the onslaught of cruel remarks and biting accusations. Instead, I'm dragged to my feet and through your door, which is swiftly slammed shut. My skull collides with the wall as I'm swung around, backed into a corner, so to speak. Tears sting my eyes from the blow, and I wait for hurtful jab and my long-deflated ego.

_You loved me 'cause I'm fragile, when I thought that I was strong._

_But you touch me for a little while, and all my fragile strength is gone. _

A gentle caress to wipe away the tears and my eyes are wide open. Staring up into your dark eyes, I'm shocked at what I see there: love and remorse, as if you've been waiting for this moment just as long as I have. I want to hold you, and have you holding me. I want to take your pain away as you can always do for mine. You lean in closer and I close my eyes, head falling gently back against the hand now cradling my head. Another gentle caress, this time down my neck, a slight pressure as our bodies touch, the gentle brush of your lips against mine, and I've fallen farther than I can reach to climb back out. You've taken every last bit of my being; strength, soul, all of it. I'm yours and only yours. Forever.

_Set me free; Leave me be. _

_I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity._

_Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be,_

_But you're on to me, and all over me. _

I startle awake at Hedwig's gentle hoot. She knows its happened again, this reoccurring nightmare, fantasy, whatever you'd like to call it. It isn't the first time, nor is it the last. Not at all. I just wish that it weren't. I don't know how much longer I can keep going; how much longer I can keep up this charade. My heart breaks more and more everyday. The thing is, you see, that time doesn't heal all wound; it only makes them worse.

_I live here on my knees as I try to make you see,_

_That you're everything I think I need here on the ground. _

_But you're neither friend nor foe though I can't seem to let you go. _

The tears flow freely as I roll into a sitting position, legs hanging over the side of the bed, brushing lightly on the emerald green rug, against the dark cream bed cloths. I shiver in the unforgiving air, but I can't bring myself to move. If I close my eyes, I can almost feel your arms, the gentle caress of your half-asleep fingers as you wake. The dungeons are terribly damp in the winter, but this is my safe place. I can't imagine my life anywhere else, especially not without you. This is my home; it's just more vacant now without you. You always said that I gave light to these dark halls… But that's only because I was your light. You were mine, or rather; you were the dark that balanced me. It's ironic, me saying I need the dark, when I spent my whole life trying to get rid of it.

_The one thing I still know is that you're keeping me down. _

Hermione's worried about me, everyone is worried about me. All you ever see front page anymore is how the world's savior is a psycho-depressed, possibly suicidal, heart broken young man. You think they'd get sick of hearing about me. But, no; Their letters stream in by the hundreds everyday, telling me their sob stories of lost loved ones and their thanks for saving the rest of their families. What they don't know is that, though each letter gives me joy for them, it hurts me more, because they should be thanking both of us, not just me. The rest of the Order gets letters similar to mine, I'm told, though all of theirs combined doesn't equal my "fan mail", as you would have called it. My friends are trying; they truly are, but… I've lost the will to live, really. They tell me that I threw away a great life for this dream. I probably did. I'm wasting my life away pining after something that's been far gone for a long time now. I gave up that Auror job, and a wonderful Seeker career, even the opportunity as DADA teacher. Instead I'm now Hogwart's new Potions Master. Ironic, huh? Considering you told me I'd never amount to anything in that field. I walk these same hallways that we did, everyday remembering the love I've lost. They tell me Ginny is still single, that I could have a family and children. But what good is it? I know what I gave it all up for. I gave it up for moon-lit corridors that turn slowly into dank, lantern-lit passages; for brightly colored curtains, paintings, and tapestries transforming into damp stone and cobwebs. All of it for an area far from welcoming, but a place where, in the darkest time of one night, I felt the safest; where I felt the pull of gravity taking me; where I learned that it wasn't outside the door that I felt at home, but inside it, where you welcomed me with warm arms, gentle kisses, and snide remarks.

_Something always brings me back to you, It never takes too long. _

A/N: So, there it is. Are you happy now, Emily? I actually think I kind of liked this story. I figured that if I'm going to write a Snarry, why not half follow the book. Big events don't really change in my mind. So when I was trying to write this, and I had Snape alive before, it wasn't working out so well. Therefore, I give you permission to kill me for the ever depressing ending as I think I'm going to cry rereading it.

As always, reviews are most welcome, so please….

MOLEST THE BLUEY-PURPLE BUTTON!!

And on that note, I bid you goodnight/morning/afternoon. XD


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